Becoming Someone You Can Count On
Updated: 5 days ago
Building trust in yourself, one intentional choice at a time.
What would change in your life if you trusted yourself a little more?
It's an interesting question because trust is something we spend a great deal of time developing in our relationships with other people. We pay attention to whether their words align with their actions, whether they follow through on their commitments, and whether we can depend on them when it matters. Trust develops through experience, and it takes time for us to build confidence in another person's ability to show up consistently.
But what about the relationship we have with ourselves? How much attention do we give to building that same kind of trust?
I think sometimes we are much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on someone else. We question our abilities, doubt our decisions, and make promises to ourselves that we don't always keep. We tell ourselves what we're going to do differently, set goals, make plans, and then become discouraged when we don't follow through exactly as we intended. Over time, those experiences can begin to shape the way we see ourselves. We start questioning whether we are capable of accomplishing the things we want, or whether we can really count on ourselves to follow through.
I've spent a good deal of time learning to change that relationship with myself. And one of the most important things I've discovered is that self-trust isn't something you develop simply by telling yourself you are capable. It comes from experiencing yourself as someone who follows through, makes intentional choices, and continues showing up for the things that matter.
When I first started making changes in my own life, I wasn't thinking about all the things those small decisions might eventually lead to. I was simply trying to take better care of myself. I started with manageable commitments, things like going to bed at a reasonable time, drinking more water, making time for movement, and paying attention to what I needed. Those actions weren't extraordinary, but they gave me an opportunity to practice showing up for myself. And the more I did that, the more I began to recognize that I could trust myself to follow through.
I see that same pattern in so many areas of my life today. When I started the Becoming Podcast, I remember wondering whether I would be able to consistently create and publish an episode every week. Would I have enough material? Would I be able to maintain the schedule? Would I eventually run out of things to say? This week marks episode 20, and those questions have largely disappeared. Publishing the podcast has become part of my routine because I've continued to show up and do the work. The same is true of the Sunday Pause, my writing, and the commitments I've made to the books in the Becoming series. Every time I follow through, I add another experience that reinforces my belief in my own ability.
And I think that's something we sometimes overlook when we're working toward change. We can become so focused on everything we still want to accomplish that we fail to recognize how much progress we've already made. When we're in the middle of our everyday lives, it's not always easy to see what is happening. We're focused on today's responsibilities, tomorrow's plans, and everything that still needs our attention. Sometimes we need to step back and look at the bigger picture to recognize how all those small decisions have accumulated into something meaningful.
This is one of the reasons I place so much value on tracking our behaviors. When we take the time to look back at the choices we've made and the actions we've taken, we can begin to see patterns of growth that might otherwise go unnoticed. I recently took some time to revisit where I was at the beginning of this year, and I was reminded of just how many ways I've continued to show up for myself. There have been some incredibly full weeks, and there are certainly days when I haven't accomplished everything I intended. But when I look at the bigger picture, I can see the progress. I can see the work I've done, the commitments I've kept, and the things that are beginning to take shape. And I'm proud of that.
I've also learned that building trust in yourself doesn't mean you have to get everything right. There are going to be days when something doesn't happen as planned. Sometimes we take on too much, underestimate how much time something will require, or simply have other priorities that need our attention. Missing a workout because I need to spend time writing or recording doesn't mean I've abandoned my commitment to my health. It means I'm recognizing that I have limited time and energy, and sometimes I need to make adjustments. I can acknowledge what didn't happen without dismissing everything that did. Giving myself grace doesn't mean giving up on my intentions. It means allowing myself to be realistic about what I can accomplish while continuing to move toward what matters.
Perhaps one of the biggest changes I've experienced is becoming comfortable with not knowing exactly how things will unfold. I used to think that confidence meant having a pretty good idea of where I was going and how I was going to get there. Now I understand that I can make thoughtful decisions, establish realistic goals, put in the work, and still have absolutely no control over the outcome. I can do everything within my ability to make something happen, and there are still so many things that I cannot predict or influence.
But I've come to love that part of the process. I don't need to know exactly how everything will come together. I trust that if I continue to show up, do the work, pay attention, and make choices that reflect what matters to me, I will find my way forward. That doesn't mean everything will happen exactly as I imagined, or that every opportunity will unfold according to my timeline. It means I trust myself enough to navigate whatever comes next. I can adjust, learn, make different decisions, and continue moving in a direction that feels right.
I think that's one of the greatest gifts of developing self-trust. You stop needing to have every answer before you begin. You become more comfortable listening to yourself, recognizing what speaks to you, and having the confidence to follow it. You understand that you don't have to control every outcome to influence the direction of your life. You simply have to be willing to participate in creating it.
So perhaps building trust in yourself begins with something much smaller than we might imagine. It begins with one commitment, one intentional choice, or one small action that reflects something important to you. And then another. Over time, those experiences accumulate. You begin to recognize that you are someone who can follow through, someone who can learn from difficult experiences, and someone who can find a way forward even when the path isn't entirely clear.
I'd encourage you to take some time this week to think about the ways you've been showing up for yourself. Not just what you still want to accomplish, but what you've already done. Look beyond the individual days and consider the bigger picture. You might be surprised by how much has changed and how much evidence you already have that you are capable of creating the life you want to live.
You don't have to become someone who never questions themselves or never misses a step. You simply have to keep building a relationship with yourself that allows you to trust your ability to learn, adjust, and continue showing up.
Because eventually, through all those small and intentional choices, you begin to recognize something. You have become someone you can count on. And when you reach that place, you can move forward without needing to know exactly how everything will unfold. You trust yourself enough to take the next step and allow the rest to come together along the way.
Becoming, always returning,
Carrie
Carrie Woodcock
Founder, Total Transformation
NBC-HWC Health Coach
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