What Expression Changed in Me
Updated: 4 days ago
Last night, we gathered around the fire. There was chili, laughter, stories, conversations about Becoming and Foundations, conversations about life, and plenty of moments that had nothing to do with any of it. It was relaxed and easy. There was no presentation, no agenda, and no pressure to make the evening into anything more than what it was. Somehow, that felt significant.
Last night was the Autumn Equinox, and it was also the release of Becoming Expressive, the fourth volume in the Becoming series. As I sat around the fire with the people who came, I found myself thinking about another gathering in this same garden: the Summer Solstice.
That night felt different. I remember being excited, but I also remember wondering how I would be received. I had put so much of myself into Becoming, and I was opening the garden and inviting people into something that was deeply personal to me. I believed in it. I knew it mattered to me. But there was still a little hesitation underneath all of that. Would other people see what I saw? Would they understand it? Would they connect with it?
Last night, I realized something had changed. I didn't have those questions anymore. I didn't need to ask whether I was ready because I knew I was. And that might be one of the clearest ways I can see how much this season of Expression has changed me.
Expression wasn't simply writing a book or creating a podcast or putting my ideas into the world. It was learning to trust my own voice enough to let it be heard. It was allowing myself to be seen before I knew exactly how people would respond. It was creating something because I believed in it, even when I couldn't know what would happen once it left my hands. Somewhere along the way, I stopped needing the response to tell me whether it was worth doing.
That doesn't mean I don't care. I care deeply about the people who read the books, the conversations that come from them, and whether something I create reaches someone at the right moment and gives them something they can carry into their own life. But I don't need to stand in front of it anymore and wonder whether it deserves to exist. I know it does.
Perhaps that is what Expression was really asking of me all along. Not simply, What do you have to say? but Are you willing to say it without knowing how it will be received? Sitting around that fire last night, I realized that I am.
As I finish Becoming Expressive, I can already feel myself moving into the writing of Becoming Expanded. It has already begun to take shape and reveal pieces of itself to me. I've been almost frantically capturing the insights as they come, trying not to lose a single moment or experience that I know will find its way into that final volume. But I needed to completely release Becoming Expressive before I could really turn my attention toward what is waiting for me in next season. Now that I have, things are beginning to take shape quickly.
I don't know what the final book is going to say yet. I don't know what all of the chapters will become, or what I will discover as I write it. But I don't feel the same uncertainty about beginning. Not because I know the content, but because I trust the process. I know what it feels like to begin with an idea and allow the book to reveal itself. I know what happens when I give myself enough space to listen. I know that the things I think I am going to write about aren't always the things that ultimately matter most, and I know that somewhere in the process, something unexpected will emerge. After experiencing that with Becoming Expressive, I have complete confidence that I can trust the process again.
That may be one of the greatest gifts this season has given me. I don't need to know exactly where the next book is going. I simply need to take the next step and remain open to what reveals itself along the way.
Last night, I was reminded that Becoming isn't something I have to explain to people anymore. I get to live it, create it, share it, and allow other people to decide what they want to do with it. As I move out of Expression and toward whatever comes next, I am carrying something with me that I didn't have when this season began: a deeper confidence in my own process.
It's not certainty about the outcome, and it's certainly not a guarantee about where this will take me. It is something quieter than that. It is the confidence that comes from having done the work and knowing that, whatever comes next, I am capable of meeting it.
And maybe that is what happens when we allow ourselves to be seen. Eventually, we stop asking whether we are ready to step into the light because we realize that, somewhere along the way, we already have.
Becoming Expressive: The Courage
The fourth volume of Becoming: The Practice of Intentional Living is now available.
Becoming Expressive explores what happens when we become willing to trust our voice, release what no longer fits, allow ourselves to be seen, and let what we've discovered within ourselves shape the way we live.
Becoming, always returning,
Carrie
Founder, Total Transformation
NBC-HWC Health Coach
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