Britt Kelso: From Grief to Forgiveness - What We Whisper Across the Veil
- Carrie Woodcock
- Sep 24
- 4 min read
In recognition of Suicide Awareness Month, Brittanie Kelso, my co-host on the Complete Wellness Podcast, has chosen to share her story with you. I could express countless wonderful things about Brittanie and how thankful I am to call her a friend, but I will let her words speak for themselves.
Written by Brittanie Kelso:
This podcast was hard, really hard. I've never swallowed the lump in my throat so many times so I could continue to speak. You can quite literally feel the pain from the voices in this episode. This episode also shares details and events leading up to and including suicide. Tread lightly.
Today would have been Brian's birthday. Seventeen years ago, he took his own life - and the ache of that loss is still with me and so many others.
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and I share our story not for pity, but becaue if we don't talk about the hard, taboo things, history will repeat itself. I will not let that happen, so today we speak in the pain to break they cycle.
I recorded this podcast in his honor - raw, emotional, and honest. It ends with what may be the biggest mic drop of my life: sharing how I've learned that forgiveness frees both me and Brian. That truth has been the newest part of my own healing, and I hope it stays with anyone who listens.
Happy birthday, Bri, I really hope I'm making you proud by sharing our story and trying to break this stigma. I'll continue to do so until my last breath.
Love you - B 🤍
In the days before the podcast was released, Brittanie frequently mentioned feeling strange—not exactly bad, but just odd. She said she couldn't quite find the words to describe her emotions. Since both Britt and I trust our intuition, I felt it was important to check in with her a few times to ensure she wasn't uneasy about the podcast's release. With that reassurance, we proceeded with our plans to share her story.
Late last night, she finally reached out to me, saying, "I think I know why I feel so different." She then sent me this message:
I have never once in my life forgave anyone for anything. I just deal with it. I carry it. I didn’t know how to forgive and I think it’s because I can't understand why or how people do the things they do. So how in the fuck can I forgive something I can’t understand? That was always my struggle. But when I truly no longer felt anger for Brian, just this week, I felt forgiveness. For the first time in 39 years of living. It feels light. It feels good. In his death, 17 years later I’m still learning from him, or maybe because of him? I don’t know why or how but I’m looking forward to forgiving a lot of people in the future when the time is right and feeling even lighter moving forward because the load I have been carrying in my little body is heavy as fuck and I’m ready to actually live my life without carrying everyone’s load.
Her words brought me to tears. After chatting for a few more minutes we both headed off to bed. When I woke up this morning I saw that Brittanie had shared the following post:
Yesterday was incredibly hard. Grief unexpectedly came crashing in hearvier than I could carry, and sharing my podcast about suicide and my late husband, Brian, left me feeling raw and exposed. Speaking his name, telling our story, it broke me open all over again worse than ever.
But then I woke up to see that over 700 of you interacted with the post overnight. In the middle of one of the hardest days, you reminded me I wasn't alone. Your love, your support, and your willingness to sit with this painful truth gave me the strength I really didn't have yesterday.
Brian's story will always carry sorrow, but sharing it is also about hope... hope that someone chooses to stay, hope that another family is spared this pain, hope that love and conversation can spark healing. Seeing how many of you care shows me that his life and story still matter, and that means everything.
Thank you for holding me up on a day I was struggling to stand, literally. Yesterday was hard, but today I feel your love carrying me forward.
We're doing it Bri, for you. Like I said, "We will take it from here."
Rest easy. - B 🤍
Although I didn't know Brian, I do know Britt, and I am extremely thankful for her friendship and the unwavering support she consistently offers. She has become a vital part of my support network. On the Complete Wellness Podcast we're not afraid to talk about the hard stuff - or laugh through it. Whether we’re unpacking emotional wellness, sharing personal stories, or talking about what’s actually working in our daily lives, we’re showing up authentically so you feel a little more human, a little less alone, and a lot more supported.
We believe wellness isn’t one-size-fits-all — it’s messy, ever-evolving, and worth talking about. Each person has a unique story, and we welcome you to share yours with us. We are eager to hear tales of struggle, hope, resilience, strength, and life. If you have a story to tell, please reach out to us. Send an email, and Britt and I will set up a time to chat with you.
Thanks for walking with us.
We see you. We appreciate you.
— Carrie & Britt
Carrie Woodcock
Founder, Total Transformation
NBC-HWC Health Coach
Comments